Friday, 26 October 2012

5 card flikr



It was a dark gloomy night on the 31st of October it was Halloween night and everyone was dressed up as witches vampires and ghouls and ghosts. My mum had jelly vampire teeth with sweet blood in the middle to give out to the children. I was dressed up as vampire. I had a black dress on with cobwebs sleeves and I had glow in the dark vampire teeth and fake blood running down my chin. My mum and dad said I looked really scary and would frighten all the people who opened their door to give us delightful treats. But before I could go trick or treating my mum said I had to eat all my tomato pasta. So I gobbled it all up and got ready for the night ahead. My sister Emma normally goes trick or treating with me but her and her boyfriend Luke got her backstage passes for this new pop band performing in the echo arena.

I got my pumpkin bag and set off. All around there were children everywhere knocking on doors and running to the next house. There were pumpkins and cobwebs and the air smelt of sugary candy and mouth watering toffee apples. I knocked at the first house I could see. An old lady answered the door she had long skinny wrinkled fingers and a long pointy nose with a wart on the end. She handed me a packet of haribos and said in a creepy voice “here you are dear” I said thank you and carried on. I was walking to my final house when I met my sister Emma and her boyfriend Luke. They asked me for one of my sweets so we all had a haribo from the packet the old lady had given me at the first house. Suddenly we began to feel faint and pink powder started to surround us. I began to feel smaller and smaller. Suddenly I was a lizard and so were Emma and Luke. We all screamed at each other and started to panic. I heard a creepy voice come from behind. I turned around and there was the lady from the first house but she wasn’t a lady she was a witch. She had a wooden broom stick and a pointy orange hat also she had a black scary cat in her hand. “So you eat the sweets did you?” she said we all nodded are heads in amazement “well you shouldn’t of done that!” she said. My sister shouted to the witch “how do we turn back?”  The old witch stared at my sister for a moment and said “well the only way to turn back is to drink the magic potion and the magic potion is somewhere in that house and you only have till 12 o’clock  but beware you are going to be in for a scare!” she cackled and suddenly she disappeared! The house we had to go in to was an old abandoned tall black building with cobwebs everywhere and gravestones as far as the eye can see. We crawled under the door and entered in to the main hall it was dark and scary. Suddenly the floor started to shake and a coffin raised from the floor. The letters on the coffin said Count Dracula the coffin opened and a long tall man with a black cape that trailed on the floor came walking towards us. He was as white as snow and his eyes were as red a blood he had pearly white teeth with two fangs on either side. He said in a Transylvanian accent “my dears welcome to my house looks like the witch turned you a bit on the small side!” we were amazed but suddenly the man’s eyes turned full black and he turned to me licking his lips he said in a deep voice “I smell lizard blood!” he picked me up by his long thin hand and his fangs suddenly got pointer. I screamed and panicked because I was getting nearer and nearer to his teeth. Suddenly I woke up phew it was all a dream!   

3 comments:

  1. I think you have worked extremely hard on this and I think you have used a lot of vocab and necessary punctuation. If you had to improve on something, I would say your sentence openers.

    Well done from Nicole x

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  2. I think you have used very good adjectives and wrote the story in a way that you want to read more, to find out what happens next. If wanting to improve, I would just say vary sentence lengths,but overall well done x

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  3. erin they way you added the pictures and had good use of adjectives are good i would love to know what happens next x

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